mistake? or just fate?

I think i made a mistake by breaking up with my ex-boyfriend. Mistake because there are times that I feel, I still can' t move on. I get out of sort when he just missed texting me. I still get jealous when he is talking or hanging around with other girls, or even with his friends (sometimes). When he is hanging out with his friends, I don't really think it is a big deal but, I am just jealous. Or maybe I just want to be there, too. Maybe I just want to be there in his happy moments. At the same time,  I also want to be alone with him.

My day is not complete without a single text from him. I want to know if he still cares for me because i still want him to. But he is already not responsible for that because I already dump him. Am I being unfair to him?

But can you blame me if  I am still like this? It is like, he's giving me a chance that we could still work on things about us. He still fetches me and accompany me on my way home. We still eat together. He's calling me cutesy names on text messages. When we don' t have stints in school, he prefers go walk with me. And he insists that he cares for me, that I am still important to him.

I want to believe but somehow, I want to stop myself. I know that the more I believe, the more I' ll get hurt.

I want to love him with all my heart, to give what I can, to spend my time when I can, because I do. But I am hesitating because of this situation. It makes me sad. I can feel to him that he does not have plans to be with me anymore. He just want to savor things with me as long as we still have time. He is happy with that.

I don't think if it this is the better way for us. Maybe this is really my fate. I did this.